Thursday, September 3, 2009

NFL PRESEASON AWARDS EDITION


Thank you Thank you! Welcome to the 2009 Preseason awards ceremony as hosted by Enough Already. We the fine mentally stable person at Enough Already would like to a moment and thank our sponsors: (sounds of crickets)


Now since that is out of the way let us sally fourth onto the presentations.





Our first award of the evening is a pointless award and has nothing to do with the Preseason. It is the "Most likely to not be a Broncos Running Back in 2009". The nominees are as follows:

Anthony Alridge
Alex Haynes
Cory Boyd
J.J. Arrington
Selvin Young
Ryan Torain
Marcus Thigpen


The winner is ....... well unfortunately there is a 7 way tie folks. Some of these folks deserved better treatment than what they did from the Denver Organization. I hope and pray that some can find another team to play on and that their injuries can be quickly healed. Some well known names on the list.

Our next award is the infamous "not likely to sign with the team in time" award. This award category is limited to NFL drafted rookies only and is awarded to the top draft pick that does not sign with the team that drafted him on draft day. Are nominees are as follows:

Josh Freeman
Aaron Curry
Michael Crabtree
Tyson Jackson
Andre Smith
Knowshon Moreno


and the winner is..........
Michael was not available to accept this award because in the best interest of his agent he was going to try to work on winning a better award.














Our next contestant on the price is err.....our next award to be handed out is our "motor mouth" award. This award is earned by whoever does the most trash talking in the preseason. The nominees are as follows:

Ray Lewis
Terrell Suggs
Lawrence Timmons
Antonio Cromartie
Shawne Merriman
Jerry Jones
Terrell Owens


and the winner is..........
Antonio could not be here to accept this award because he is twittering about how much he was toasted more than any Quizno's sub or any other DB.


Our next award is for the "most valuable player in the preseason and then never heard from again in the NFL regular season". The nominees are as follows:

David Clowney
Isaiah Stanback
Jeremy Bloom
Jason Hill
John David Booty
Dwayne Jarrett


and the winner of the MVP is ...............


John could not be here to accept this award because Brett Favre was having a team meeting to discuss the "schism" and how he will create all things equal in Minnesota. He also wants John to clean out his locker so that Favre can put his wranglers on the shelves and have a place for John Madden to be sitting there talking about Brett Favre to everyone while using the teleprompter to show everyone just how good Brett Favre is and how he can play forever!

Thank you and good night! Remember to wipe carefully when using cheap toilet paper.

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